


what if i lose it all? oh sister, i will help you out

by arrowsanonymous



Category: The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Siblings, my god when i typed sibling so many sibling incest tags popped up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrowsanonymous/pseuds/arrowsanonymous
Summary: sadie experiences the aftermath of her journey through the mythological world. carter, ever the protective brother, helps her deal with it.
Relationships: Carter Kane & Sadie Kane
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	what if i lose it all? oh sister, i will help you out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_kiwi_is_not_a_pewee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_kiwi_is_not_a_pewee/gifts).



Saving the world is a hard thing to do for adults. For children, it should be near damn impossible.

_ Then... why are all book protagonists children?  _ Sadie muses, staring at the ceiling of her room in Brooklyn House.  _ The Harry Potters and the Lyra Belacquas and the Katniss Everdeens. None of them are competent, actual adults. Why are they the heroes? Why am I—and why is Carter—the appointed Saviors of The Universe? _

Lately, Sadie has started missing more and more school. More and more training. She never gets the energy to even get out of bed sometimes, and she knows that Carter has his bad days too, but somehow he’s managed to get up, slap a smile on his face, and pretend that every time he flinches, it’s just part of the training. But Sadie? With no motivation or energy and too much time on her ADHD hands, her restless energy gets funneled to her mind.

Now she’s stuck in bed, thinking about her tragic life, staring right ahead to the brilliantly white light emanating from the lamp. Her eyes ache. She ignores it.  _ It isn’t fair. I should be in the mall with my pals right now, not stuck in bed, useless like this. Carter should be in school, not being a pharaoh or whatever he is. I’ve gotten lazy. _

Billie Eilish’s voice streams out of her phone speakers and circulates around the room, singing mournfully in her raspy, breathy voice. “ _ Thought I could fly, so I stepped off the Golden,”  _ she sings. “ _ Nobody cried, nobody even noticed,” _

Sadie’s heard this song too many times. She knows the lyrics by heart at this point, and she should probably change the song, but her limbs feel locked in place and she’s  _ tired,  _ of everything, of heroes and gods and Chaos and Order and she feels small.

Insignificant.

Tiny.

She’s tired.

With a small sigh, Sadie closes her eyes. She’s been sleeping all day. A headache has started to form at her temples, a steady rhythm of pulses of pain radiating from the two spots to her entire head.

_ Death. Have you ever thought about it?  _ her mind asks, seemingly out of nowhere. Or maybe it’s just Isis, back in her mind but never paying rent.  _ Have you? _

_ Well, I’m not going to start now,  _ she replies to her own brain, closed eyelids lightly fluttering. Truth be told, she’d be lying if she said she’s never thought about it. Sadie knows better than that. But she also knows better than to give in. Well, she’s known better up until now, at least.

She tries to empty her mind and drift away into unconsciousness for the third time today, because sleeping is the only thing Sadie has enough energy for. After saving the world, she can’t say that she’s particularly impressed with how things have turned out.  _ I was fine. Why am I not fine now?  _

Her thoughts race in her mind, like always, no matter how hard she tries to empty her mind and calm down. It’s been two months after the gods retreated. She wishes Bast is here. Anyone. Someone. She wants to forget the memories of deaths she’s seen, fights she’s fought, friends she’s lost. She wishes her parents aren’t dead or basically a god. She wishes for everything, anything, nothing at all, but prayers always go unheard.

The music has become background noise, mildly irritating at worst. The fabric of the bed seems too harsh and the room too cold. Stabbing pain crawls over her skin, like a million sewing needles poking her constantly. 

_ Knock. Knock.  _ “Sadie, you haven’t eaten,” someone says through the door, voice muffled. “Let me in?”

_ Carter.  _ She finds her voice. “Door’s open,” she manages to say, eyes still closed, limbs still frozen.  _ Good days. Bad days.  _ This is turning out to be a very bad day indeed, if Carter, the idiot, comes over to check on her. Then again, that means most of her days are bad days. She opens her eyes.

The door opens, casting some shade into the brilliantly illuminated room. The headboard of the bed is placed flush against the wall opposite to the door, which is the only reason she can see Carter’s figure, in a hoodie and jeans, carrying a tray with both hands and maneuvering awkwardly to prop the door open with his shoulder.  _ Is it night already?  _ Sadie wonders as the door shuts with a soft  _ whump  _ behind Carter.

He sets down the tray at the dresser beside the door and under the large TV. Sadie closes her eyes again, the bright room causing the start of a headache on her temples to worsen. “Do you want me to turn off one of the lights?”

“Sure,” Sadie mutters, seeing the room dim considerably through her eyelids immediately after the word leaves her lips, breathy and tired yet managing to resonate around the room anyway. “Thanks.”

She manages to open her eyes again when she feels the right side of her bed sink. Carter is sitting on it, concern in his gaze, cautious tension in his frame. He offers a hand to her silently, and somehow, somehow, like a spell shattering, Sadie lifts her hand and let Carter yank her up into a sitting position.

“I got you, um, scones and jam and also some pasta if you want something savory,” he says somewhat awkwardly. “How are you feeling?”

With a sigh, Sadie looks down at the bedsheets. The room feels way too cold now. She feels frayed, tired, shell-shocked, like a soldier coming home from a long, bloody war. “Honestly? I know your secret name, so this won’t give you any leverage. I feel like if you don’t hug me right now, I’m going to fall apart.”

Carter’s lips twitch upward, breaking the slightly-concerned look in his eyes. He extends his arm towards her again, letting her lean forward before wrapping his arms around her. “You get  _ one  _ hug, annoying as you are,” he says, laughing softly as he rubs circles on her back. Sadie snorts against his shoulder.

“I’m not as annoying as you, at least,” she retorts, burying her face in Carter’s soft hoodie that smells somewhat like old books for a moment before pulling back from the hug. Carter doesn’t resist. He shakes his head in an almost disbelieving manner, turning away from her to grab the tray.

“I came over to feed you, and you call me annoying? The nerve,” Carter says in a theatrical manner. He waits until Sadie stops laughing to hand her the tray.

Sadie shrugs. “Well, you  _ are  _ very irritating,” she laughs, taking the tray. “I appreciate your  _ acts  _ of trying-to-be-less-of-a-dork, but, y’know, you’re still same old Carter.”

He seems to mull this over as Sadie starts to eat, only picking at the food at first, but eventually starting to take proper bites. Carter pulls and tugs at the wrinkly bedsheets, and by the time Sadie finishes her pasta, her bed looks neater than before. “Same old Carter,” he muses. “What does that mean?”

Slowly, Sadie places her fork back onto the tray. “It means… you, I guess,” she replies, frowning a little. “Your annoying-ness. Your kindness and logic and dorky quality. All that stuff, if that makes sense.”

“I guess it does,” Carter says, still deep in thought. He takes the empty tray and dirty dishes from Sadie. “It’s one AM right now, so I really need to get back to sleep,” he informs her, standing up. “But if you need me… just knock. I don’t mind.”

Sadie raises an eyebrow, but she eventually smiles. “I’ll remember that any time I need a nerd,” she teases. “Good night.”

“Don’t forget to use the pillow,” Carter calls as he walks out of the room.

_ I guess sweet dreams just aren’t a thing anymore. _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> it's three 32 fucking a m in the morning words made no sense near the end (i think you can figure out where bc i feel like it just straight up degraded and fucking,,, went to shit) PLEASE FORGIVE ME IM HUNGRY THERES NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE IM JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


End file.
